This article provides a comprehensive checklist of what to include in your emergency bag and why certain items matter. Escaping an abusive relationship is an incredibly brave and critical step toward reclaiming your safety and well-being. Preparing an emergency bag can significantly ease the process of leaving and help ensure you have the necessary items to protect yourself and your dependents during and after your escape.
- Personal Identification Documents
Securely store as many of the following documents as possible in a location outside your home, where your partner cannot find them, without arousing suspicion:
- Birth Certificate: Proof of identity and citizenship.
- Passport: For international travel and alternative proof of citizenship.
- National Insurance Number, Social Security Number (or equivalent — subject to your country): Required for employment, taxes, and accessing government benefits.
- State-Issued ID or Driving Licence (for US Citizens): Necessary for identification, driving, and voting.
- Financial and Estate Planning Documents (where and when applicable)
- Will: Specifies how your assets will be distributed after death and can appoint guardians for minor children.
- Power of Attorney: Authorises someone to make financial or legal decisions on your behalf.
- Tax and Financial Records
- Tax Returns: Proof of income and compliance with tax laws.
- Banking Information: Including account details and financial statements.
- Property Deeds and Titles: Proof of ownership for homes, vehicles, or other significant assets.
- Insurance Policies: Copies of health, life, auto, home, and other insurance documents.
- Family and Relationship Documents
- Marriage Certificate: Proof of marital status (if applicable) for legal and financial matters.
- Divorce Decree (if applicable): Details of a divorce settlement.
- Adoption Papers (if applicable): Proof of legal adoption.
- Child Custody Agreements (if applicable): Specifies custody and visitation rights.
- Restraining Order (if applicable): Provides legal protection and outlines restrictions against your abuser.
- Miscellaneous Documents
- Immigration Papers (if applicable): Essential for those on visas or with immigration status considerations.
- Insurance Papers: Copies of all policies that are not covered under financial records.
- Your Abuser’s Details: National Insurance Number or Social Security Number (or equivalent — subject to your country), car registration number, and a recent photograph. Sharing this information with trusted individuals, such as neighbours, workplace colleagues, or authorities at your new location, can significantly enhance your safety.
- Clothing and Children’s Items
Packing clothing and personal care items ensures you have the basics needed to maintain dignity and hygiene during your transition.
- Clothing: Aim to pack clothing that your partner is unlikely to notice missing. Avoid packing his favourite items, as he might quickly realise, they are gone if you’re not wearing them for an extended period.
- Children’s Items: Any specific items your children may need for their immediate care and comfort, especially those that could be difficult to organise after an escape.
- Medications and Health Essentials
Neglecting health needs can lead to unnecessary complications. I suggest you pack the following:
- Prescriptions: At least a one-week supply of any medications you or your children take regularly.
- Health Records: Copies of immunisation records and medical histories.
- Communication Tools
Maintaining safe and effective communication is critical. Consider packing:
- Mobile Phone/Cell Phone and Charger: A prepaid or secondary, fully charged phone if your primary one is monitored.
- Small Portable Power Bank: This is worth considering, to ensure your devices remain charged in emergencies.
- Important Contact Numbers: Write down emergency helpline numbers, trusted friends’ contact details, and addresses for shelters or safe locations.
- Legal and Escape Resources
Ensure you know where to go and who to contact for immediate support and safety.
- Shelter Information: In case you are heading to a refuge or shelter, secure addresses and phone numbers.
- Helpline Numbers: National and local helplines dedicated to supporting those escaping domestic abuse… just in case.
- Comfort and Emotional Support Items
While practical items are crucial, don’t underestimate the power of personal and sentimental belongings. However, the following items should only be considered if they can be stored away safely without raising suspicion by an abusive partner:
- Photos or Keepsakes: A small item that offers emotional strength.
- Children’s Comfort Items: Such as a favourite stuffed animal or blanket to help your child feel secure.
Also, if you have pets, consider making arrangements to ensure their safety as well. Pet food, leash, collar, and carrier (for safe transport), and vaccination records (required for entry into some shelters or care facilities).
Please note that it is crucial to prepare your emergency bag safely. Pack discreetly and, if possible, pack gradually to avoid drawing attention. Consider leaving the bag with a trusted friend, relative, or neighbour. Ensure the bag is easily accessible by storing it in a secure location, such as a workplace locker or with a trusted individual.
Equally important is identifying escape routes. Plan the fastest and safest ways to leave your home, and practise using these routes both physically and mentally. If you have children, carefully consider their age and maturity before discussing the plan to avoid unintentional disclosures.
Finally, inform trusted individuals about your situation. Choose carefully who you can trust, i.e. friends, family members, neighbours, your children’s teachers, or your work colleagues. Share a recent photo of your abuser with those less familiar with them to further enhance your safety following your escape.
For detailed insights into the potential risks and consequences of being in an abusive relationship, what warning signs to watch for, and the actions you can take, as well as further information on ’emergency bag checklist’, please consider reading my book, NEVER A VICTIM – The Definitive Guide to Women’s Safety.