Take Action: How You Can Help End Violence Against Women
Starting today, 2025, ask yourself this: When you come across the words Violence Against Women online, do you stop and take notice, feel interested in reading further about the subject, or simply scroll past? Many of us have become desensitised to the many harsh realities of today’s society. Senseless violence against women has dominated our social media feeds for far too long: news reports of yet another domestic homicide, widespread outrage over another femicide in the street, or campaigns pleading with the government for meaningful change. You probably know the statistics: in 2020, for instance, some 47,000 women and girls were killed by their intimate partners or other family members, according to the United Nations. That works out at a woman or girl being killed every 11 minutes by someone in her own family. Indeed, in a new report published in November 2024, they claimed a woman or girl is killed by a member of her own family every 10 minutes. Can you see beyond the numbers? For many women, these facts and figures are not revelations; they are simply painful reminders of what they have endured and the strength it took to survive. You know, violence against women is not inevitable. Women shouldn’t have to live their lives in tears at the brunt of male violence, constantly adjusting their routines to keep themselves safe, and wondering whether they can still trust the police and others who are supposed to protect them. Here’s how you personally can help end violence against women: Listen to survivors It takes a lot of strength for victim survivors to speak about their experiences. I urge everybody to approach these moments with trust, empathy, and genuine compassion. Most importantly, listen carefully. It’s not just about what someone says—it’s often about how they say it or even what remains unsaid. I also urge everybody to believe survivors. If we are not concerned by the multitude of reasons preventing so many victim survivors from coming out of the shadows, then we probably need to have a huge rethink about whether we even care about ending violence against women. One in four women will face domestic abuse in their lifetime, yet survivors’ experiences are too often dismissed, trivialised, or ignored. This failure to believe them directly endangers all women. Believing someone brave enough to share their story is a powerful act that acknowledges the depth of this crisis. Educate yourself Why was she so drunk, or why was she dressed that way, if she did not want attention? If he treated her so badly, why didn’t she leave him much earlier? Why did it take her so long to speak about the abuse? Most of us unconsciously harbour various myths and misconceptions about violence against women, which may spread a culture of normalised violence. Probably the best counter to such beliefs is educating ourselves on the issue, through paying closer attention to news, reading relevant books and conducting research, or listening to some of the great podcasts out there. Call out your friends I believe, this one is most relevant to us men. If you hear one of your friends crack a misogynistic joke that clearly indicates a toxic mindset, why not call them out on it? You don’t have to fall out about it; it can be as simple as saying, “Hey, really?” You might be surprised how effective a simple questioning of someone’s comment can be. Speak up There are many ways to speak out against violence against women, from having open conversations about the issue to sharing informative and impactful content on social media. If you discuss this subject with others and start to think someone you know is being abused, help them to realise that free and confidential support is available from several specialist support organisations in their area. Believe, support, and encourage them, offer unconditional help, and never ever judge them. Volunteer Our time has become more and more valuable, so all of us need and want to invest it wisely. If you wish to dedicate some of your time to helping, rest assured that whatever your skills or passions, there is always an opportunity to support one of the many great organisations out there. I know your support, in whatever form, will be deeply appreciated and can truly make a difference. Disengage from rape culture Rape culture, described by Rape Crisis England & Wales as a “society where sexual violence and abuse is normalise, played down, and laughed off,” pervades all parts of life. Rape culture thrives when it goes unchallenged; let’s oppose those people with highly patriarchal, toxic, and fundamentally wrong opinions and mindsets. Promote healthy relationships and better sex education It is obvious that prevention is by far the most effective way of ending violence against women and girls, and this must begin with better education surrounding sex and relationships (RSE). Many experts in this field from around the world are calling for schools and colleges to provide RSE from the age of 16 years, or even as early as 14 years. This level of education should also come from loving parents. Parents of boys should emphasise how a kind and respectful man conducts himself. Parents of girls, likewise, should highlight to their daughters what a loving and healthy relationship is all about and, importantly, what acts or behaviours by a male partner are inappropriate, alarming, or even dangerous. Fundraise You don’t need to break world records, run through deserts or the Arctic, or take part in a world-famous marathon. Nor do you need to raise millions of pounds, dollars, or euros. In many developed countries, raising just £50 can provide a woman and her child with a night’s stay in a refuge—a small act that can make a life-changing difference. Every contribution helps, and every contribution is deeply appreciated. Use social media wisely Social media is essentially a virtual cesspit full of misogynistic rubbish. While it may seem unlikely to change, there are innovative digital ‘safe’ spaces where
Understanding Technology-Enabled Sexual Abuse
The internet has become a powerful tool for predators, enabling them to gather detailed information about their victims’ routines, appointments, social habits, workplaces, and vehicle registration numbers. In many cases, they even gain personal insights, such as clothing preferences, mannerisms, and specific lifestyle choices. Most of this is achieved without raising suspicion, providing perpetrators with ample time to meticulously plan hostile actions and engage in technology-enabled sexual abuse. As a result, it becomes significantly harder for victims to detect and protect themselves from the looming threat. It could be argued that eliminating this threat is impossible, but we can take steps to mitigate it. Technology-enabled abuse is a very real concern, a far cry from the dismissive view of it as a “virtual issue.” Many cases go unreported, leaving the full scale of this problem unknown. Technology-based abuse takes many forms, including online grooming, livestreamed abuse, online sexual coercion, online sex trafficking, nonconsensual sharing of explicit media, and image-based sexual abuse. Some victims experience severe emotional distress, and in extreme cases, this can tragically lead to suicide. Understanding Image-Based Sexual Abuse (IBSA) What exactly is image-based sexual abuse? IBSA refers to a broad range of abusive practices where images are used for sexual purposes without meaningful consent. This can include the creation, manipulation, theft, extortion, or threatened or actual distribution of images or videos, as well as any misuse of images or videos for exploitation. IBSA may also involve sexual violence or harassment targeting digital representations, such as avatars in virtual reality or online gaming. If you wish to gain a far greater understanding of this rather disturbing subject, please allow me to recommend an article, titled “Image-Based Sexual Abuse Perpetration: A Scoping Review,” by Nicola Hendry et al. Types of Technology-Enabled and Image Based Sexual Abuse AI-Generated Fake Content AI-generated content includes hyper-realistic images created using artificial intelligence, depicting individuals in explicit situations that never occurred. Deepfake technology often makes these images so convincing that detecting the forgery can be nearly impossible. As AI continues to reshape perceptions of reality, digital literacy and critical thinking skills are becoming increasingly essential. If you fall victim to such abuse, these skills can help you demonstrate the forgery and, if appropriate, provide evidence to your family, social circle, professional network, or police. Here are some ways to identify AI-generated content: Visual Oddities: Look for inconsistencies in details such as lighting, facial expressions, or reflections, areas where AI still tends to struggle. Speech Patterns: If audio is involved, listen for unnatural rhythm, overly perfect speech, or a lack of natural emotion and pauses. Source Verification: Trust only reputable sources and cross-check information across reliable platforms. AI Detection Tools: Tools such as Deepware Scanner and Sensity specialise in identifying deepfake videos and other forgeries by analysing pixel inconsistencies, metadata, and digital fingerprints. Background Inconsistencies: AI often simplifies or blurs backgrounds, missing subtle contextual details. Non-Consensual Distribution of Explicit Material This involves sharing or posting sexually explicit images or videos without meaningful consent, representing a severe violation of privacy and bodily autonomy that often causes lasting emotional harm. I believe it’s important to acknowledge that I fully understand the desire to exchange intimate images, particularly among younger age groups or during the early stages of a relationship. However, it’s crucial to recognise that a relationship, which might initially seem healthy and promising, can sometimes deteriorate or change dramatically. In such instances, the intimate images you once shared in trust could end up in the hands of someone who now harbours hostile intentions with a potential desire to commit acts of technology-enabled sexual abuse. For this reason, I urge everyone to be mindful and conscious of the potential risks involved. Sexual Extortion (Sextortion) Perpetrators often use sexual images to blackmail victims, demanding additional explicit content, money, sexual contact, or compliance to maintain a relationship. This ties directly to my earlier point. Be extremely cautious about who you grant access to any sexual images of yourself. Recording Sexual Violence (RSV) This refers to the recording of sexual assault or rape, often when the victim is incapacitated or drugged. The case of French rape survivor Gisèle Pelicot is a shocking example. However, it is also a greatly empowering example of a woman who bravely waved her right to anonymity so the evidence could be heard in public, and so she could repeatedly remind the world that shame must change sides, and that shame lies with their attacker, not with the victim survivor. The recordings of these acts of violence may be shared online, including on mainstream pornography sites, compounding the trauma inflicted. Video Voyeurism (VV) These actions involve secretly recording the private activities of individuals, such as dressing, urinating, and showering without their knowledge. It also involves taking pictures of body parts in private settings that happen to be in a public place, like “upskirting” or “down-blousing.” Modern technology provides perpetrators with an ever-expanding arsenal of tools to control, abuse, and threaten. Preventing or stopping IBSA is exceptionally challenging, if not impossible. Resources for Technology-Enabled Sexual Abuse For a deeper understanding of online violence against women, I recommend the study Online Violence Against Women: A Four Nations Study. Led by Professor Olga Jurasz and funded by the Open University’s Open Societal Challenges programme in 2024, it represents the first comprehensive, large-scale study of online violence against women across the UK. The study examines the scale, impact, and societal attitudes towards such abuse. The research found that most participants in England recognised image-based sexual abuse as a form of online violence against women and girls (OVAWG), with 91% identifying it as such. Other forms included text-based abuse (87%), cyberstalking (86%), cyberbullying (85%), upskirting (84%), and cyberflashing (83%). Key factors driving these offences included online anonymity, the ease of escaping accountability, and the widespread sexualisation of women and girls. I have explored the subject of Technology-Enabled Abuse and many more related subjects in my book, NEVER A VICTIM – The Definitive Guide to Women’s Safety. I strongly encourage you to develop at least a basic understanding of this issue, as I believe it will play an increasingly significant role in the personal safety of women in the future. Follow
‘Consent’—The Defining Noun That Separates Sex from Rape, Sexual Assault, and Abuse
‘Consent’ is the defining noun that separates sex and consensual sexual activity from rape, sexual assault and abuse. Since early September, the face of a woman from a small village in southern France has dominated global front pages. Gisèle Pelicot is at the centre of a high-profile trial where the main defendant is her ex-husband, Dominique Pelicot. He has admitted that, for nearly a decade, he drugged her and invited other men to allegedly abuse her in her own bed, without her knowledge, all while he filmed the assaults. Fifty other men are also on trial alongside Pelicot, accused of rape—charges many of them deny. Some of the accused are expected to argue that they believed Gisèle Pelicot had consented to what happened to her. In response, she said of the men on trial: “These men are degenerates. They committed rape.” Dominique Pelicot and the other accused men—when they saw a woman unconscious in her own bed, did none of them stop to ask themselves a question? Did none of them have the sense to question what was happening? How could they possibly believe that any form of clear and freely given consent existed under those circumstances? In my forthcoming book, “NEVER A VICTIM – The Definitive Guide to Women’s Safety” I will make it crystal clear what ‘consent’ in above context means: “What distinguishes consensual sex or gestures of affection from sexual assault is consent. Sexual consent is a free, voluntary, and informed agreement between you and another person to participate in a sexual act. It must be clearly and freely communicated. Remember, you cannot give consent if you are underage, intoxicated, incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, asleep, or unconscious. If you find yourself agreeing to an activity under pressure, intimidation, or threat, that is not true consent because it was not given freely. Be aware that unequal power dynamics, such as those between you and an employer or teacher, also invalidate consent, as it cannot be freely given in these situations. Consent is all about clear communication, and you have the right to withdraw it at any point if you feel uncomfortable. While verbally withdrawing your consent can sometimes be challenging, you can also use non-verbal cues, such as showing discomfort, to withdraw your consent.” Concerningly, many countries, including those in the Americas, have legal definitions of rape based on force or the threat of force, rather than on the absence of consent. Equality Now’s recent study found that in 23 of the 43 jurisdictions surveyed in the Americas, the law requires the use of violence, threats, or taking advantage of the victim’s physical helplessness, incapacity, or inability to resist as elements of rape. Force-based definitions of rape fail to meet international human rights standards and are deeply problematic for several reasons. They often leave certain types of rape unpunished, contribute to rape myths, and reinforce the perception that victims are responsible for protecting themselves from being raped. They also severely limit the extent to which rape can be successfully prosecuted. Overall, these definitions ignore the realities faced by many women and girls in the context of rape or sexual assault and enable significant impunity for perpetrators. I will explore the definitions and legal aspects of rape and sexual assault in various countries, comparing them in the international edition of my book NEVER A VICTIM. — — — — — — — About the Author My name is Robert Kaiser. I am the author of NEVER A VICTIM, a book aimed at helping women prevent both physical and sexual violence. The UK edition will be available from on 20 November 2024, with an international edition following on 22 January 2025. Both editions will be available in hardcover and eBook formats, with audiobook versions scheduled for release in 2025. This extremely comprehensive guide book contains 504 pages, over 110,000 words, and includes numerous safety recommendations highlighted to enhance women’s safety, and empower women to trust in their innate ability to protect themselves and stay safe. Over the past three decades, I have dedicated myself to understanding violence against women, including sexual violence, specific acts of physical violence, and the individuals who perpetrate them. I have had the privilege of listening to and working with hundreds of female survivors of sexual and physical violence, whose incredible support I will forever appreciate. However, I have also engaged in extremely challenging and complex conversations with rapists, predators, and other criminals to help identify alarming behaviour traits and behaviour patterns. This allows us to predict future acts of violence and learn to prevent them. Please also consider reading my article “Top 10 Personal Safety Tips All Women Should Know.”