Steps Women Should Take When Feeling Threatened or Unsafe
You might find yourself asking, “What can I do to stay safe when feeling threatened and unsafe?” Feeling threatened or unsafe can be a highly uncomfortable and stressful experience that affects you mentally, emotionally, and physically. You may feel afraid, confused, angry, or even blame yourself for being in that situation. However, what counts is your response. You must take back control. Understanding the Nature of Threats Threats come in many forms, and understanding their nature is essential to responding effectively. Each type requires a different approach, but the ultimate objective remains the same: protecting yourself. Broadly, threats can be categorised as: Immediate Threats: Urgent, violent situations where your safety is at risk, such as someone directly confronting you. Non-Immediate Threats: Situations that feel less urgent but are equally harmful, like receiving threatening messages or being blackmailed. Staying Safe When Dealing with Immediate Threats When there is an immediate threat, meaning someone is threatening you with violence (with or without a weapon), your personal safety needs to be the number one concern. Here’s how to respond: Stay calm: I fully understand how difficult it is to remain calm, but it is crucial. Fear clouds judgment, so do what I believe is the most important thing in such a moment: take a deep breath, as that will help you to focus on thinking clearly about what exactly is going on. You want to understand the precise threat i.e. distance between you and the threat, weapons being present or not, bystanders who might be able/willing to help, possible escape routes, the physical actions you wish to take to neutralise the threat. Escape if possible: Quickly scan your surroundings. Look for exits or safe places. Leaving the area safely is always preferable to physical confrontation. De-escalate if necessary: If escape isn’t immediately possible, try to calm the situation. Speak in a calm, neutral tone, avoid making provocative statements, and set clear boundaries without being confrontational. Subject to the type of threat, the person’s motive and your relationship to him etc., this might work or not. Defend yourself if needed: As a last resort, protect yourself using a simple self-defence technique. In certain situations, this may involve a powerful and violent ‘hammer fist strike’ or a palm heel strike against the attacker’s neck or throat. If you are very close to your attacker use your teeth and viciously bite him in his face as hard as you can, or grind yor thumb into one of his eyes. You might also aim to break one of your assailant’s fingers or other fragile bones. Defend yourself with any means necessary, using all the energy, force, and power you can summon. Avoid responding with a half-hearted defence. Trust your instincts and act decisively. For a comprehensive list of non-lethal and self-defence techniques, refer to my book NEVER A VICTIM. Document the incident: Once safe, record as much information as possible. This should include details about the individual, the location, any potential injuries sustained, and a clear account of what occurred. This will be invaluable when reporting the incident. Report to authorities: Call the police right away. If you believe you are in grave danger, make this clear and share all the evidence and information you have been able to memorise or compile. Staying Safe When Handling Non-Immediate Threats Non-immediate threats, though less urgent, can be just as troubling. These could include threatening messages, harassment, or blackmail. Here’s how to approach these situations: Assess credibility: Is the threat realistic? Does the person have the ability and intent to follow through? When in doubt, always err on the side of caution and treat it as credible. Document everything: Save emails, texts, social media posts, and other forms of communication. Screenshots and written notes can provide critical evidence. Inform people you trust: Let a friend, family member, or colleague know what is happening. You do not have to face this by yourself. Direct communication (if safe): If you know who is making the threat and it’s safe for you to do so, consider talking to the person about the issue. Ideally, have the conversation in a public place and ensure another person is nearby for added safety. Sometimes, open communication can help resolve a misunderstanding. Engage the police: Threats, even indirect ones, are considered illegal. Consider calling the police, as it yet another step toward protecting yourself. Stay Aware and Alert The environment will play a critical role in your safety when a threatening situation arises. Know your environment: Are there any exits? Are there CCTV installed? Can onlookers or passers-by help you? Seek public spaces: If you feel unsafe, move to well-lit, populated areas. Public visibility often deters aggressors. Engage bystanders: Don’t hesitate to ask others for help. Most people are willing to assist when they see someone in distress, but please communicate your need for help clearly, and tell any bystander what you would like them to do. Taking Action After the Incident Once the immediate danger has passed, focus on protecting yourself from further harm and processing the experience: Know your legal protection options: These may include actions such as filing for protective orders or pressing charges against perpetrators. Seek emotional support: Do not underestimate the emotional impact and trauma of a threat or violence. Confide in friends, family, or other support groups, and talk to a mental health expert if necessary. Coping with Blackmail or Manipulation Blackmail is a non-violent threat that may lead to feelings of extreme distress. Remain calm: Never make a rash decision; instead, take some time to reflect on your next move, and discuss the matter with others your trust. Don’t give in: Only comply if that is the safest thing for you to do. Consider other ways out, like taking legal advice, consulting an expert in this field, or going to the police first. Document and report: Gather evidence and bring it to the police’s attention. Blackmail is against the law, and you don’t have to put
How Can Women Protect Themselves from Domestic Violence and Abuse?
Domestic violence and abuse are persistent problems throughout the world, leaving behind a trail of destruction on individual and family levels. Since women are disproportionately affected by these heinous acts, there is a need to empower them with knowledge, resources, and actionable steps towards protection. This brief article covers practical strategies, safety tips, and resources you can use to protect yourself from domestic violence and abuse. By understanding the warning signs, leveraging support networks, and adopting proactive measures, women can take significant steps to safeguard their safety. Recognising the Warning Signs of Abuse The first step in protecting yourself is recognising the signs of abuse. Early identification of such behaviours will help one take precautionary measures before the situation worsens. These warning signs may include: Emotional manipulation: Abusive partners use constant criticism, gaslighting, or isolating you from loved ones as manipulative tactics. Physical violence: Any form of physical harm or threats of violence. Controlling behaviour: Monitoring your movements, finances, or communications, including social media. Sexual abuse: Forcing you into unwanted sexual acts or not giving you bodily autonomy. Practical Steps to Protect Yourself From Domestic Violence The process of protecting yourself against domestic violence and abuse requires awareness, preparation, and support. My book, entitled NEVER A VICTIM – The Definitive Guide to Women’s Personal Safety, provides complete guidance and strategies on how you can increase your personal safety and how you can protect yourself from domestic violence. It also highlights all manipulative strategies used by abusers. However, here are some useful actionable strategies to consider: Create a safety plan. You need a safety plan that is personally tailored to your unique circumstances to help you manage potentially dangerous situations. Your safety plan should include: Names and numbers of trusted people to contact in an emergency. A safe place to go if you need to leave your home in a hurry. Valuable documents, some cash if possible, and a bag packed ready with essential items kept safe. This should include medication that you and your children may need. A recent photograph and the car registration number of your partner (if possible). Share this information with trusted individuals who can help monitor your safety wherever you are i.e., at work. Trust your intuition. Your intuition is a truly powerful ally in recognising danger. Women often dismiss their gut feelings to conform to social or gender norms, but your intuition always prioritises your well-being. If something feels wrong, please take it seriously. Know your abuser’s red flags. Observe your abuser behaviour trait and patterns and be watchful of actions that show your abuser is getting upset and may explode. Think of legitimate reasons to go out (i.e., day or night) if you think it may escalate. Get help and support. Isolation is a common tactic used by abusers. Maintain connections with trusted friends, family, or community groups. If confiding in someone close isn’t an option, reach out to one of the great support organisations or helplines for assistance. These resources can provide: Domestic violence shelters offering temporary housing and support. Legal aid organisations to help with restraining orders or court proceedings. Dedicated helplines and support organisations providing immediate emotional support and advice. Examples include the UK’s Women’s Aid, The National Domestic Violence Hotline in the US, 1800RESPECT in Australia, and SaferSpaces in South Africa. However, you can also search for local support groups online. Identify safe areas in your home. Know where to go when your abuser becomes violent or hostile. Avoid small, confined spaces with no exits or rooms with potential weapons such as the kitchen. If possible, head to room containing a phone and having direct access to an outside door or window. You might want to consider identifying a room you might aim to escape to, a room you can prepare in advance i.e. with a mobile charger, a flashlight, and some type of deafeningly loud personal alarm. Practise safe escape. Go through your escape plan so you know what to do immediately should you be attacked. Involve children (subject to age and mental capacity) in the practice if you have any. Please keep practising it, imagining different scenarios. Use technology wisely. Technology, such as mobile phones, can be your greatest ally in emergencies but also your worst enemy if not used carefully. Make sure to protect yourself by: Regularly changing passwords and keeping them private. Examining devices for tracking software or spyware. Utilising apps designed for safety, such as personal alarm apps or silent emergency alerts. Train in self-defence. Physical fitness and self-defence techniques can instil confidence and physical means to defend oneself. While self-defence is not a complete answer to domestic violence, it is a good skill to know. Find an experienced instructor who understands the dynamics of real-life violence. It would significantly help you to protect yourself from domestic violence. Understand legal protections. Familiarise yourself with local laws and available legal resources. Many countries offer protective or restraining orders that prevent abusers from contacting or approaching their victims. Consult legal experts or organisations specialising in domestic violence for tailored advice and support. The Role of Society in Supporting Survivors of Domestic Abuse While empowering women is critical, addressing domestic violence requires a collective effort. Communities, governments, and institutions must: Educate the public about the realities of domestic abuse. Hold abusers accountable through legal and social consequences. Offer comprehensive support services to survivors. This means we must listen carefully, assure them of our unconditional help, empathise with them, and above all we must not be judgemental. Your Next Step Empowerment of women in the ways to protect themselves against domestic violence and abuse starts with knowledge. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, take the first step towards getting help. Learn more and find resources at www.womens-safety.com.