You might find yourself asking, “What can I do to stay safe when feeling threatened and unsafe?” Feeling threatened or unsafe can be a highly uncomfortable and stressful experience that affects you mentally, emotionally, and physically. You may feel afraid, confused, angry, or even blame yourself for being in that situation. However, what counts is your response. You must take back control.
Understanding the Nature of Threats
Threats come in many forms, and understanding their nature is essential to responding effectively. Each type requires a different approach, but the ultimate objective remains the same: protecting yourself. Broadly, threats can be categorised as:
- Immediate Threats: Urgent, violent situations where your safety is at risk, such as someone directly confronting you.
- Non-Immediate Threats: Situations that feel less urgent but are equally harmful, like receiving threatening messages or being blackmailed.
Staying Safe When Dealing with Immediate Threats
When there is an immediate threat, meaning someone is threatening you with violence (with or without a weapon), your personal safety needs to be the number one concern. Here’s how to respond:
- Stay calm: I fully understand how difficult it is to remain calm, but it is crucial. Fear clouds judgment, so do what I believe is the most important thing in such a moment: take a deep breath, as that will help you to focus on thinking clearly about what exactly is going on. You want to understand the precise threat i.e. distance between you and the threat, weapons being present or not, bystanders who might be able/willing to help, possible escape routes, the physical actions you wish to take to neutralise the threat.
- Escape if possible: Quickly scan your surroundings. Look for exits or safe places. Leaving the area safely is always preferable to physical confrontation.
- De-escalate if necessary: If escape isn’t immediately possible, try to calm the situation. Speak in a calm, neutral tone, avoid making provocative statements, and set clear boundaries without being confrontational. Subject to the type of threat, the person’s motive and your relationship to him etc., this might work or not.
- Defend yourself if needed: As a last resort, protect yourself using a simple self-defence technique. In certain situations, this may involve a powerful and violent ‘hammer fist strike’ or a palm heel strike against the attacker’s neck or throat. If you are very close to your attacker use your teeth and viciously bite him in his face as hard as you can, or grind yor thumb into one of his eyes. You might also aim to break one of your assailant’s fingers or other fragile bones. Defend yourself with any means necessary, using all the energy, force, and power you can summon. Avoid responding with a half-hearted defence. Trust your instincts and act decisively. For a comprehensive list of non-lethal and self-defence techniques, refer to my book NEVER A VICTIM.
- Document the incident: Once safe, record as much information as possible. This should include details about the individual, the location, any potential injuries sustained, and a clear account of what occurred. This will be invaluable when reporting the incident.
- Report to authorities: Call the police right away. If you believe you are in grave danger, make this clear and share all the evidence and information you have been able to memorise or compile.
Staying Safe When Handling Non-Immediate Threats
Non-immediate threats, though less urgent, can be just as troubling. These could include threatening messages, harassment, or blackmail. Here’s how to approach these situations:
- Assess credibility: Is the threat realistic? Does the person have the ability and intent to follow through? When in doubt, always err on the side of caution and treat it as credible.
- Document everything: Save emails, texts, social media posts, and other forms of communication. Screenshots and written notes can provide critical evidence.
- Inform people you trust: Let a friend, family member, or colleague know what is happening. You do not have to face this by yourself.
- Direct communication (if safe): If you know who is making the threat and it’s safe for you to do so, consider talking to the person about the issue. Ideally, have the conversation in a public place and ensure another person is nearby for added safety. Sometimes, open communication can help resolve a misunderstanding.
- Engage the police: Threats, even indirect ones, are considered illegal. Consider calling the police, as it yet another step toward protecting yourself.
Stay Aware and Alert
The environment will play a critical role in your safety when a threatening situation arises.
- Know your environment: Are there any exits? Are there CCTV installed? Can onlookers or passers-by help you?
- Seek public spaces: If you feel unsafe, move to well-lit, populated areas. Public visibility often deters aggressors.
- Engage bystanders: Don’t hesitate to ask others for help. Most people are willing to assist when they see someone in distress, but please communicate your need for help clearly, and tell any bystander what you would like them to do.
Taking Action After the Incident
Once the immediate danger has passed, focus on protecting yourself from further harm and processing the experience:
- Know your legal protection options: These may include actions such as filing for protective orders or pressing charges against perpetrators.
- Seek emotional support: Do not underestimate the emotional impact and trauma of a threat or violence. Confide in friends, family, or other support groups, and talk to a mental health expert if necessary.
Coping with Blackmail or Manipulation
Blackmail is a non-violent threat that may lead to feelings of extreme distress.
- Remain calm: Never make a rash decision; instead, take some time to reflect on your next move, and discuss the matter with others your trust.
- Don’t give in: Only comply if that is the safest thing for you to do. Consider other ways out, like taking legal advice, consulting an expert in this field, or going to the police first.
- Document and report: Gather evidence and bring it to the police’s attention. Blackmail is against the law, and you don’t have to put up with it.
You Are Not Alone
Nobody has the right to hurt or threaten you, and be assured you are not helpless. Staying safe when threatened or unsafe is within your innate capabilities. There is much you can do to help keep yourself safe by staying calm, aware, and prepared. Also, trust your instincts as it is your best ally and seek help when it becomes necessary.
For further valuable and helpful information on personal safety for women, please refer to my new book NEVER A VICTIM – The Definitive Guide to Women’s Safety. Please also consider reading my article “Top 10 Personal Safety Tips All Women Should Know.“