Stalking is a deliberate and persistent pattern of behaviour designed to instil fear, distress, and, all too often, to escalate into violence. It is closely linked to abusive relationships and has the power to dismantle lives. While stalking is a criminal offence in many countries, victims often do not recognise what is happening to them until the pattern becomes clear. Rather than asking, “Are you being stalked?”, it is far more effective to focus on specific behaviours that signal risk and escalation.
This guide aims to clarify the realities of stalking, outlining the behaviours that define it and providing practical, evidence-based safety strategies. Stalking is never romantic or flattering. It is rooted in obsession, control, and harm, and stands as a clear warning sign of gender-based violence.
Understanding Stalking
The stereotype of a stranger lurking in the shadows does not reflect reality. In most cases, stalkers are known to their victims. The data reveal a consistent and deeply concerning pattern:
- United States: According to the Domestic Violence Services Network, Inc., 42% of victims of stalking are acquainted with their stalker, while 40% of victims are stalked by a current or former partner.
- Australia: The Australian Bureau of Statistics cited research showing that 78 per cent of women stalked by men knew their stalker.
- England and Wales: Safer Futures, a UK charity, estimated that as many as 45 per cent of stalking victims are stalked by ex-partners.
In the UK, the most recent statistics from the Office for National Statistics showed that 1 in 5 women will be a victim of stalking at some point in their lives, highlighting the imperative for awareness and action.
Stalking behaviours typically involve unwanted, repeated contact, surveillance, malicious communications, property damage, and threats. Critically, these behaviours often escalate over time, sometimes culminating in physical or sexual violence. Recognising this progression is essential for effective intervention.
A chilling example is the ordeal of Grace Smith in 2024. After Grace rebuffed his advances, Karl Chads launched a terrifying campaign of harassment against her. His actions included breaking into her home, stealing personal belongings, and sending her disturbing messages. Despite repeatedly reporting him to the police, their initial inaction left Grace to take matters into her own hands by installing security measures and practising self-defence. Eventually, Chads was arrested and sentenced to 13 years in prison. Grace’s courage to document evidence and seek justice shows the power of resilience.
Consider the case of an Australian woman whose ex-partner used GPS tracking devices and spyware to monitor her movements. This demonstrates how stalkers are increasingly turning to technology to exert control. These examples reinforce the need for proactive safety planning and a clear understanding that stalking is a serious crime requiring immediate action.
Types of Stalkers
In the 1999 article “Study of Stalkers,” Australian clinical and forensic psychology experts identified five motivational types of stalking. While each type differs, the safety advice provided later applies to them all.
- The Rejected Stalker: This type emerges when a close relationship ends. Victims are often former sexual intimates, but family members, close friends, or others who have rejected the stalker can also be targets. The motivation is either to reconcile or seek revenge for the perceived rejection.
- The Resentful Stalker: Arising from feelings of mistreatment or humiliation, this stalker targets strangers or acquaintances they believe have wronged them. Their actions are often linked to severe mental illness or paranoia, with revenge or inducing fear as primary motivations.
- The Intimacy-Seeking Stalker: Motivated by loneliness and a lack of close relationships, this stalker targets strangers or acquaintances in a delusional attempt to form an emotional connection or intimate relationship. Severe mental illness often drives their behaviour.
- The Incompetent Suitor: Driven by loneliness or lust, this stalker targets strangers or acquaintances for a date or short-term sexual relationship rather than love. Their persistence is often brief but can be indifferent to the victim’s distress, sometimes due to poor social skills, developmental conditions, or intellectual disabilities.
Effective Ways to Protect Yourself from Stalkers
If you are experiencing stalking, the following actions are proven to significantly increase your safety and disrupt the offender’s control:
No Contact
Once you have made it clear that the stalker’s attention is unwelcome, it is vital to cut off all contact. Ensure that friends, family, and colleagues also avoid any engagement. Stalkers thrive on reaction; denying them this is a powerful tool. If contact cannot be avoided, remain calm, show no emotion, and prioritise your safety above all else.
Speak to Trusted Individuals
This can:
- Prevent unintentional disclosure of your whereabouts.
- Involve others in documenting suspicious events.
- Provide emotional support.
- Provide trusted contacts with clear descriptions or photographs of the stalker and their vehicle, and instruct them not to engage under any circumstances.
Increase Personal Safety
- Change your daily routines and vary your routes and schedules. Reducing predictability makes it significantly harder for a stalker to track your movements.
- Emergency Numbers: Store emergency numbers and teach children how to use them.
- Communicate your plans clearly. Inform family members or trusted friends of your whereabouts and expected times, and establish regular check-ins to ensure your safety.
- Regularly check your mobile phone and vehicle for tracking devices. Review your app settings and device permissions to identify and address any potential security weaknesses.
- Maintain readiness by keeping your phone fully charged and carrying a reliable, high-powered torch at all times.
Be Vigilant
- Change direction or detour into crowded areas.
- Use reflective surfaces to check for followers.
- Move to public or CCTV-monitored places.
- Identify and familiarise yourself with safe spaces along your regular routes, such as large shops, hospitals, public buildings, or police stations. Knowing exactly where to seek refuge if you sense danger is a critical part of maintaining both your safety and your peace of mind.
Secure Your Home
- Install alarms, door chains, peepholes, motion detectors, and cameras at doors.
- Don’t leave keys lying around outside. Consider locking your fuse box.
- Designate a secure room in your home with a solid door and keep a fully charged backup phone inside it at all times.
- Build relationships with your neighbours. A connected community increases collective vigilance and can provide crucial support in times of risk.
Safeguard Personal Information
- Install letterboxes with locks and shred sensitive documents.
- Exercise caution when sharing personal information, whether online or face-to-face. Every detail matters when it comes to your safety.
- Opt out of public directories and voter rolls.
- On social media, never post real-time updates about your location or daily routines. Adjust your privacy settings to limit who can access your information, and enable two-factor authentication to strengthen the security of your online accounts.
Document Incidents
- Maintain a comprehensive log of all stalking behaviours, recording dates, times, and detailed descriptions. Attach supporting evidence such as photographs, messages, or witness statements. This documentation is essential for building a strong legal case and ensuring your experiences are taken seriously.
- Utilise personal safety apps that allow you to discreetly record audio or video evidence. These tools can play a vital role in documenting abuse and supporting your case in legal proceedings.
Legal Protections
- Legal protections vary significantly worldwide, with differing processes, effectiveness, and accessibility. It is essential to research the legal protections available in your country and consult a qualified legal advisor. Stalking specialists can offer expert guidance and support as you navigate the legal process.
Support and Resources for Stalking Victims
National emergency helplines and local support services are equipped to provide immediate assistance and tailored guidance for your specific situation.Specialised organisations can provide essential guidance, such as:
- USA: SPARC (Stalking Prevention, Awareness, and Resource Center).
- Canada: Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime.
- UK: Paladin National Stalking Advocacy Service.
- Australia: 1800RESPECT.
Final Thoughts
Stalking is a serious crime that demands vigilance and decisive action. With technology-enabled stalking now widespread through tools like GPS trackers and spyware, staying informed and proactive is not just important, it is urgent.
Trust your instincts, take practical steps to safeguard yourself, and seek professional support when needed. You are not alone in this. With the right knowledge and decisive action, you can reclaim your sense of safety and control.
About the Author
Robert Kaiser specialises in criminology-informed strategies to prevent violence against women, integrating insights from sociology and behavioural psychology. He is currently pursuing a PhD in Criminology, focusing on Escalation Pattern Analysis (EPA): Understanding, Predicting, and Preventing High-Harm and Lethality in Intimate Partner Violence (IPV). He is also the author of NEVER A VICTIM, a 530-page survivor-led, trauma-informed guide to women’s safety.