I want to start this blog with something many people don’t realise: intimate partner violence and domestic abuse don’t end when a woman leaves her home in the morning. It doesn’t pause while she’s at work. It follows her. It follows her into the office, onto the shop floor, and even onto Zoom calls.
I’ve spoken with many survivors over the years, and their stories always highlight the same truth: the workplace can be both a source of risk and a source of refuge. That’s what inspired me to write my latest research paper, which you can read in full here: The Workplace as a Lifeline – How Employers Can Safeguard Victims of Intimate Partner Violence and Save Lives.
But in this blog, I want to step away from the academic detail for a moment and speak to you directly, about what this really means for women, for employers, and for all of us.
Abuse doesn’t stop at the front door
We often imagine abuse as something contained within the walls of a home. But the reality is different. Survivors carry it with them.
I’ve heard of abusers hiding car keys so their partner can’t get to work. I’ve heard of phones constantly buzzing with controlling messages in the middle of important meetings. Some abusers even turn up at workplaces, creating scenes that not only terrify survivors but also unsettle colleagues.
And then there are the invisible scars: exhaustion, anxiety, depression. Survivors might arrive at work after a night of threats or violence, expected to perform at their best while barely holding themselves together.
From the outside, it might look like lateness, lack of focus, or poor performance. But inside, it’s trauma.
Why the workplace matters so much
This is where the workplace becomes so important. Think about it: for many survivors, especially those cut off from friends or family, work may be their only regular contact with the outside world. Employers see their staff every day. Colleagues notice when someone isn’t themselves.
That means workplaces are uniquely placed to spot the warning signs and step in early. And that intervention can be life-saving.
But sadly, most workplaces don’t recognise this potential. Domestic abuse is still too often brushed off as a “private matter,” something HR might put in a policy document but never truly implement. Survivors know this. It’s one of the main reasons fewer than one in four ever tell their employer about what’s happening.
Two stories that say it all
Let me share two stories that bring this home.
Sharon Livermore, who now runs Domestic Abuse Education, told me about her own experience at work during her abusive relationship. She said:
“I worked through this whole scenario… They weren’t educated so they didn’t spot the signs, so nobody reached out to me.”
For Sharon, her workplace could have been the lifeline she needed. Instead, it was a missed opportunity, because no one was trained to recognise what was happening.
Then there’s Deborah Jones, founder of Resolute Women’s Support Services. She ran her own salon while living through abuse. She explained:
“My salon became my safe space… But being self-employed meant I had no employer or colleagues to turn to.”
For her, work was both sanctuary and trap. It gave her identity and a place to breathe, but it also left her isolated, with no support system to lean on.
These two stories are very different, but they highlight the same truth: employment matters. It can provide safety, structure, and dignity. But only if workplaces step up.
Why trust is everything
One of the biggest barriers survivors face is trust. Many are terrified of gossip spreading, of being judged, or of facing retaliation at work. They might worry their employer will see them as “unreliable” or that their career will stall if they speak up.
And sometimes they’re right. Too many workplaces still see domestic abuse as a problem to be managed quietly, rather than a crisis that needs compassion and action.
That’s why having survivor-centred policies is not enough. What really matters is culture. Survivors need to know that if they confide in someone at work, their disclosure will be met with empathy, confidentiality, and meaningful support.
What employers can actually do
So how can employers move from being passive bystanders to active protectors? It doesn’t require reinventing the wheel—but it does require commitment.
- Training: Teach managers and staff to recognise the subtle signs. Abuse doesn’t always leave bruises. Absenteeism, sudden withdrawal, or anxious behaviour can be red flags.
- Safe spaces for disclosure: Survivors need at least one confidential, trusted point of contact. And they need to know their privacy will be protected.
- Flexible arrangements: Court hearings, counselling sessions, or even the time needed to recover from trauma don’t fit neatly into a 9–5 schedule. Paid leave and flexible hours can make the difference between holding on to a job or losing it.
- Economic support: Abusers often control finances. Offering wage advances, emergency funds, or referrals to financial counselling can give survivors the breathing space they need.
- Survivor voices: The best workplace policies are shaped by those who’ve lived through abuse. Employers should partner with domestic abuse organisations and consult survivors when designing their approaches.
These aren’t just nice ideas. They’re practical, life-saving measures. And they make business sense too. The cost of replacing an employee is far higher than the cost of supporting them.
Looking at the bigger picture
There’s another element to my research I want to mention: Escalation Pattern Analysis (EPA). It’s a way of understanding how abuse builds over time, rather than seeing it as a series of isolated incidents.
From hiding car keys, to sabotaging childcare, to constant workplace harassment, these are steps along a trajectory that can lead to far more serious violence. If employers learn to recognise these early signs, they can intervene before the situation spirals.
Imagine if workplaces everywhere had that kind of awareness. How many lives could be changed or even saved?
A message to survivors reading this
If you’re reading this while living with abuse, I want you to know something: none of this is your fault. You do not deserve it. And your workplace should be a place of safety and support, not another site of fear.
It can feel impossibly hard to speak up. But there are people and organisations ready to help you. If you don’t feel safe telling someone at work, reach out to a trusted friend, a helpline, or a local support service. You are not alone, even if it feels like it right now.
A message to employers
If you’re an employer or manager, please don’t underestimate your role. You are not just running a business… you are also part of people’s lives.
Domestic abuse is not a private matter that stops at the front door. It’s a workplace issue. And you have the power to make your workplace a lifeline for someone who desperately needs it.
Final thought
Domestic abuse is everywhere. It affects one in three women globally, and it doesn’t magically vanish when someone starts their workday. But workplaces hold enormous potential. They can notice, they can protect, and they can provide stability when everything else is crumbling.
The choice for employers is simple: turn away and perpetuate harm or step up and become part of the solution.
If you want to go deeper into the research behind this blog, you can read my full paper here: The Workplace as a Lifeline – How Employers Can Safeguard Victims of Intimate Partner Violence and Save Lives.
Because sometimes, the difference between despair and survival is a compassionate employer who chose to act.
About the Author
Now recognised as a Gender-Based Violence Expert, Robert Kaiser specialises in criminology-informed strategies to prevent violence against women, integrating insights from sociology and behavioural psychology. He is currently pursuing a PhD in Criminology, focusing on Synthesising Escalation Pattern Analysis Across the Dynamics of Intimate Partner Violence to Improve Lethality Assessments. If you would like to follow his academic journey and access his publications, please visit his ResearchGate profile.
Robert has worked closely with hundreds of female survivors of physical and sexual crimes and is the author of NEVER A VICTIM, a 530-page survivor-led, trauma-informed guide to women’s safety.