Domestic violence and abuse are persistent problems throughout the world, leaving behind a trail of destruction on individual and family levels. Since women are disproportionately affected by these heinous acts, there is a need to empower them with knowledge, resources, and actionable steps towards protection. This brief article covers practical strategies, safety tips, and resources you can use to protect yourself from domestic violence and abuse. By understanding the warning signs, leveraging support networks, and adopting proactive measures, women can take significant steps to safeguard their safety.

Recognising the Warning Signs of Abuse

The first step in protecting yourself is recognising the signs of abuse. Early identification of such behaviours will help one take precautionary measures before the situation worsens. These warning signs may include:

• Emotional manipulation: Abusive partners use constant criticism, gaslighting, or isolating you from loved ones as manipulative tactics.
• Physical violence: Any form of physical harm or threats of violence.
• Controlling behaviour: Monitoring your movements, finances, or communications, including social media.
• Sexual abuse: Forcing you into unwanted sexual acts or not giving you bodily autonomy.

Practical Steps to Protect Yourself From Domestic Violence

The process of protecting yourself against domestic violence and abuse requires awareness, preparation, and support. My book, entitled NEVER A VICTIM – The Definitive Guide to Women’s Personal Safety, provides complete guidance and strategies on how you can increase your personal safety and how you can protect yourself from domestic violence. It also highlights all manipulative strategies used by abusers. However, here are some useful actionable strategies to consider:

• Create a safety plan. You need a safety plan that is personally tailored to your unique circumstances to help you manage potentially dangerous situations. Your safety plan should include:
  • Names and numbers of trusted people to contact in an emergency.
  • A safe place to go if you need to leave your home in a hurry.
  • Valuable documents, some cash if possible, and a bag packed ready with essential items kept safe. This should include medication that you and your children may need.
  • A recent photograph and the car registration number of your partner (if possible). Share this information with trusted individuals who can help monitor your safety wherever you are i.e., at work.
• Trust your intuition. Your intuition is a truly powerful ally in recognising danger. Women often dismiss their gut feelings to conform to social or gender norms, but your intuition always prioritises your well-being. If something feels wrong, please take it seriously.
• Know your abuser’s red flags. Observe your abuser behaviour trait and patterns and be watchful of actions that show your abuser is getting upset and may explode. Think of legitimate reasons to go out (i.e., day or night) if you think it may escalate.
• Get help and support. Isolation is a common tactic used by abusers. Maintain connections with trusted friends, family, or community groups. If confiding in someone close isn’t an option, reach out to one of the great support organisations or helplines for assistance. These resources can provide:
  1. Domestic violence shelters offering temporary housing and support.
  2. Legal aid organisations to help with restraining orders or court proceedings.
  3. Dedicated helplines and support organisations providing immediate emotional support and advice. Examples include the UK’s Women’s Aid, The National Domestic Violence Hotline in the US, 1800RESPECT in Australia, and SaferSpaces in South Africa. However, you can also search for local support groups online.
• Identify safe areas in your home. Know where to go when your abuser becomes violent or hostile. Avoid small, confined spaces with no exits or rooms with potential weapons such as the kitchen. If possible, head to room containing a phone and having direct access to an outside door or window. You might want to consider identifying a room you might aim to escape to, a room you can prepare in advance i.e. with a mobile charger, a flashlight, and some type of deafeningly loud personal alarm.
• Practise safe escape. Go through your escape plan so you know what to do immediately should you be attacked. Involve children (subject to age and mental capacity) in the practice if you have any. Please keep practising it, imagining different scenarios.
• Use technology wisely. Technology, such as mobile phones, can be your greatest ally in emergencies but also your worst enemy if not used carefully. Make sure to protect yourself by:
  • Regularly changing passwords and keeping them private.
  • Examining devices for tracking software or spyware.
  • Utilising apps designed for safety, such as personal alarm apps or silent emergency alerts.
• Train in self-defence. Physical fitness and self-defence techniques can instil confidence and physical means to defend oneself. While self-defence is not a complete answer to domestic violence, it is a good skill to know. Find an experienced instructor who understands the dynamics of real-life violence. It would significantly help you to protect yourself from domestic violence.
• Understand legal protections. Familiarise yourself with local laws and available legal resources. Many countries offer protective or restraining orders that prevent abusers from contacting or approaching their victims. Consult legal experts or organisations specialising in domestic violence for tailored advice and support.

The Role of Society in Supporting Survivors of Domestic Abuse

While empowering women is critical, addressing domestic violence requires a collective effort. Communities, governments, and institutions must:

• Educate the public about the realities of domestic abuse.
• Hold abusers accountable through legal and social consequences.
• Offer comprehensive support services to survivors. This means we must listen carefully, assure them of our unconditional help, empathise with them, and above all we must not be judgemental.

Your Next Step

Empowerment of women in the ways to protect themselves against domestic violence and abuse starts with knowledge. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, take the first step towards getting help. Learn more and find resources at www.womens-safety.com.