What is consent? Consent is the defining noun that separates sex and consensual sexual activity from rape and sexual assault.
Since early September, the face of a woman from a small village in southern France has dominated global headlines. Gisèle Pelicot is at the centre of a high-profile trial in which the main defendant, her ex-husband Dominique Pelicot, has admitted that for nearly a decade he drugged her and invited other men to allegedly abuse her in her own bed, without her knowledge, while he filmed the assaults. Fifty other men are also on trial, accused of rape. Some defendants are expected to argue that they believed Gisèle Pelicot had consented. This case highlights how the meaning of consent can be manipulated, ignored, or deliberately misrepresented in courtrooms, and why clear, unequivocal consent matters in every sexual encounter.
The Moral Blindness in Ignoring Consent
In response, she said of the men on trial:
“These men are degenerates. They committed rape.”
Dominique Pelicot and the other accused men, when they saw a woman unconscious in her own bed, did none of them stop to ask themselves a question? Did none of them have the sense to question what was happening? How could they possibly believe that any form of clear and freely given consent existed under those circumstances?
Consent is not a vague or negotiable concept. It is either present (explicit, informed, and voluntary) or it is absent. There is no middle ground. When a person is incapacitated, asleep, or otherwise unable to participate in the decision-making process, there is no consent.
What Consent Really Means
In 530-page guide “NEVER A VICTIM – The Definitive Guide to Women’s Safety” I make it crystal clear what consent in above context means:
“What distinguishes consensual sex or gestures of affection from sexual assault is consent. Sexual consent is a free, voluntary, and informed agreement between you and another person to participate in a sexual act. It must be clearly and freely communicated. Remember, you cannot give consent if you are underage, intoxicated, incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, asleep, or unconscious. If you find yourself agreeing to an activity under pressure, intimidation, or threat, that is not true consent because it was not given freely. Be aware that unequal power dynamics, such as those between you and an employer or teacher, also invalidate consent, as it cannot be freely given in these situations. Consent is all about clear communication, and you have the right to withdraw it at any point if you feel uncomfortable. While verbally withdrawing your consent can sometimes be challenging, you can also use non-verbal cues, such as showing discomfort, to withdraw your consent.”
Why the Legal Definition of Consent Matters
Concerningly, many countries, including those in the Americas, still have legal definitions of rape based on force or the threat of force, rather than on the absence of consent. Equality Now’s recent study found that in 23 of the 43 jurisdictions surveyed in the Americas, the law requires the use of violence, threats, or taking advantage of the victim’s physical helplessness, incapacity, or inability to resist as elements of rape.
This legal gap ignores the reality faced by countless women and girls: that rape is not always accompanied by visible violence. In many cases, it is about power, coercion, and the deliberate bypassing of consent.
Force-based definitions of rape fail to meet international human rights standards and are deeply problematic for several reasons:
They leave certain types of rape, such as those involving intoxication or coercion, unpunished.
They perpetuate rape myths, including the false belief that a victim must physically resist to prove non-consent.
They reinforce the harmful perception that victims are responsible for preventing rape.
They make prosecutions far more difficult, allowing many perpetrators to escape justice.
Consent Is About Power, Autonomy, and Human Rights
Consent is not just a sexual health term; it is a cornerstone of human autonomy and dignity. The ability to decide what happens to your body is a fundamental human right. When that right is ignored, it is not just a crime; it is a violation of personal liberty.
Without a clear, shared understanding of what consent means, society enables perpetrators to exploit grey areas, manipulate narratives, and evade accountability. That is why education about consent should begin early, be embedded in law, and be continually reinforced in public discourse.
The Dangerous Myths Around Consent
Too often, victims are disbelieved because of outdated and damaging myths about consent:
Myth 1: If there was no physical resistance, there must have been consent.
Myth 2: Prior sexual contact implies ongoing consent.
Myth 3: Clothing, alcohol use, or flirting can be taken as consent.
All of these are false. Consent must be specific to each act, at each moment, and given freely without pressure or impairment. Anything else is sexual assault.
Towards a Consent-Based Legal Framework
Reforming laws to be consent-based rather than force-based is not only a legal necessity; it is a moral imperative. Countries such as Sweden have already shifted to a consent-based definition of rape, resulting in greater clarity in prosecutions and better protections for survivors.
A consent-based legal framework recognises that sexual autonomy is non-negotiable and that the absence of consent (not the presence of violence) is the defining feature of rape. It also sends a powerful cultural message: sexual activity without explicit, informed, and voluntary consent is unacceptable in any circumstance.
About the Author
Now recognised as a Gender-Based Violence Expert, Robert Kaiser specialises in criminology-informed strategies to prevent violence against women, integrating insights from sociology and behavioural psychology. He is currently pursuing a PhD in Criminology, focusing on Synthesising Escalation Pattern Analysis Across the Dynamics of Intimate Partner Violence to Improve Lethality Assessments. If you would like to follow his academic journey and access his publications, please visit his ResearchGate profile.
Robert has worked closely with hundreds of female survivors of physical and sexual crimes and is the author of NEVER A VICTIM, a 530-page survivor-led, trauma-informed guide to women’s safety.